Key events
75 min: Rogers is playing to the local gallery, sprinting to block two Andorra clearances in quick succession and put the ball out for a throw-in. He’s about to be joined on the pitch by his Villa teammate Ezri Konsa, who is coming on for Marc Guehi.
73 min: “Many thanks for ‘publishing’ my thoughts in full, but I think you’ve missed the point I was trying to make,” writes Andy Toner of Pointless fame. “I’m actually Irish and not an Ingerlander. I just wanted to say that international football needs an element of jeopardy to make it interesting. This game has none. Therefore, I still think it’s the definition of bad sport, regardless of the size of the country involved.”
71 min: “After a bit of searching, the internet is conflicted on whether Osman is Muslim or not,” writes Joe Pearson. “The main argument for the assertion is that he is Turkish-Cypriot on his father’s side and has Somali roots on his mother’s side, both of which are predominantly Muslim countries. Not enough to convince a skeptic like me, but there you go.”
69 min: England triple-substitution: Morgan Rogers, Anthony Gordon and Tino Livramento on for Rice, Rashford and James. It’s no surprise that Rogers gets a huge welcome from the Villa Park crowd.
GOAL! England 2-0 Andorra (Rice 67)
England double their lead. That’s more like it. From wide on the right, Reece James sends a wonderful cross towards the far post, across the edge of the Andorra six-yard box. Declan Rice is unmarked and makes no mistake, scoring with a downward header. It’s his sixth goal for England.
64 min: Pardon my French but there’s not really any other way to dress it up – this match is dying on its arse. The atmosphere is pancake flat, England appear to have completely run out of ideas and Thomas Tuchel looks in a foul mood on the touchline as he complains to the fourth official about something or other.
61 min: After decent work from Eze, the ball finds its way to Rashford, whose shot from distance is deflected out for a corner. The inswinger finds Burn at the far post, he heads the ball back across the face of goal and once again there’s nobody in an England shirt on hand to take advantage.
59 min: Andorra makes some changes, bringing on three substitutes despite the pointlessness of their very presence at Villa Park. A Madueke cross into the Andorra penalty area is blocked and booted clear by Christian Garcia. There wasn’t a single player in an England shirt in that box when the ball arrived.
55 min: “Quick question – what is the point of Andorra?” asks Andy Toner. “They’ve managed to organise themselves into two banks of five in order to keep the score down. They’re reasonably good footballers who can keep a decent shape. Whats the next step? Trying to score an effing goal? Christ, if that happens then the whole shape will disintegrate and they’ll lose 8-1! So, what is the point of this? Why do people spend huge amounts of money to watch it? It’s the definition of ‘bad sport’ which lacks any jeopardy whatsoever.”
Quite apart from the fact that I’m not sure why everything has to have a point, I could ask you the same question, but about England. They haven’t won diddly-squat since 1966 and clearly aren’t going to do so any time soon, so why bother even trying?
52 min: Alvarez, who is the son of the Andorra coach and plays for Cordoba in the Spanish second tier, rides to the rescue again. On this occasion he denies Anderson a goal on debut with another fine save. Harry Kane had teed up Anderson but ALvarez got a hand to his goalbound effort.
50 min: Madueke tees up Eze with a pull-back from inside the Andorra penalty area but he’s denied by a splendid save by Alvarez. Marcus Rashford sends his follow-up wide of the far post. Eze cannot believe he hasn’t scored.
49 min: Anything Biel can do, Dan Burn can do better –the Newcastle centre-back tries to pick out Reece James with a crossfield pass but sends the ball sailing over his head and into the stand.
48 min: Biel gets on the ball and canters down the right wing for Andorra before returning possession to England with a wayward crossfield pass.
47 min: Reece James, Marc Guehi and Ebereche Eze channel their inner Isoceles and play some slow and ponderous triangles in the right corner of the pitch before the new Arsenal recruit gives the ball away with a misplaced pass.
Second half: England 1-0 Andorra
46 min: Play resumes, with no changes in personnel on either side.
England’s first Muslim player: Much has been made of the fact that Djed Spence will become England’s first Muslim player if he gets a run out tonight or against Serbia on Tuesday. However, Leeroy wants a word: “Why has everyone forgotten Leon Osman is Muslim?” he says. “Surely the true first for England nearly fifteen years back (capped twice at 31 under Roy Hodgson)?”
Funnily enough, I think I have Leon’s phone number but I’m not sure I know him well enough to text and ask what religion he is. I’m sure he’ll be the first to set the record straight if he feels a record he is entitled to is being robbed from under his nose.
An email: “Why play Rice in a position, where he is trying to get into the half-space and must take a lot of balls on the half turn, when you have Gibbs-White?” asks Paul Sutcliffe. “I don’t think he is even average in this position.”
Half-time: England 1-0 Andorra
The players walk off for their break and one suspects it is Andorra’s Koldo Alvarez who will be by far the happier of the two head coaches. England have had a goal scored on their behalf, Noni Madueke and Elliot Anderson have played quite well and … er, that’s about it as far as extracting positives from this performance from the hosts goes. It’s the first England international to be played at Villa Park since 2001 and the crowd is half-asleep.
44 min: A loose pass from Declan Rice rolls out for an Andorra throw-in despite the best attempts of Madueke to keep the ball in play. It’s half-time.
43 min: Marcus Rashford picks up the ball on the left, jinks past two men in yellow shirts and then runs into a third.
An email: “They tell me modern players are fitter by a mile than their 1960s and 70s counterparts,” writes Roger Kirkby. “They don’t run anymore, so how can that be?” Miaow.
39 min: Most of England’s best work is coming when they get the ball out wide and on this occasion, a corner is recyled and Eze curls a delivery into the penalty area. Harry Kane leaps and sends a header a couple of yards over the bar. There wasn’t much pace on that delivery from Eze, so it wasn’t the easiest of opportunities.
38 min: Another England corner. Rice’s delivery from the right curls towards the far post but is headed out for another corner by Christian Garcia.
35 min: Kane drops deep to pick up a pass inside from Marcus Rashford and then tries to spread it right and wide. His pass is dismal, Andorra intercept the ball and clear their lines.
33 min: England corner. Rice’s delivery to the near post is headed clear by the first defender. England recycle the ball but it’s wellied clear by Moises San Nicolas next time it’s sent into the Andorra penalty area.
30 min: Andorra’s lone attacker Cucu Fernandez runs on to a ball played along the deck from deep and finds himself in a foot-race with Dan Burn. He’s first to the ball about seven yards outside the box but several England players get back to shepherd him towards the touchline before he can figure out what to do next.
An email: “This starting eleven (and squad) just flummoxes me,” writes Julian Menz. “There are precious few matches left for Tuchel to find a core group of 14 or so that might be capable of winning the World Cup and the likes of Bowen, Henderson etc are just not up to it.
”I’ve always been against the ‘pick the players in form’ mantra. Stop experimenting. Pick the players who might actually have an impact at the WC and start forming them into a cohesive team, giving them as many minutes as possible to play as a unit.”
27 min: Marc Guehi overhits a pass from deep in the general direction of Myles Lewis-Skelly and Marcus Rashford and the ball sails out of play for a goal-kick.
GOAL! England 1-0 Andorra (Garcia 25og)
England lead! From the right side of the Andorra box, Noni Madueke curls the ball towards the far post. Christian Garcia gets his head to the ball but can only steer it past his own goalkeeper.
24 min: James gets the better of San Nicolas down the left and squares the ball, only for his cross to be intercepted. Seconds later, Kane pulls the ball back from the byline and Eze’s shot is blocked. The ball is recycled and James sends a superb ball zinging through the Andorra penalty area but Kane is unable to get on the end of it.
22 min: Noni Madueke picks up the ball out by the right touchline and tries to play a weighted pass towards the byline for Eze to chase. He overhits his pass and sends the ball fizzing out for a goal-kick.
20 min: Rashford tries to link up with Myles Lewis-Skelly down the left but a pass goes astray and Andorra win the ball back.
18 min: Scrappy fare so far, with England struggling to break down their visitors. It’s like somebody fired up the DeLorean and set the clock for three months ago.
16 min: England corner. It’s taken short by Rice and played to Madueke on the edge of the penalty area, right-hand side. His powerfully struck shot cannons into Max Llovera.
15 min: Eze takes England’s first shot in anger, a low daisy-cutter from distance that takes a little deflection off Christian Garcia but doesn’t trouble Alvarez in the Andorra goal.
14 min: Elliot Anderson meets an Alvarez kick-out with a thumping header that sends the ball back to the edge of the Andorra penalty area. He’s settled into his debut well.
12 min: Harry Kane has had a word with the referee, complaining about the amount of time that Andorra’s goalkeeper is holding the ball in his hands. Anything more than eight seconds and the opposition team is supposed to get a corner but our Finish referee has been decidedly lenient with Alvarez so far.
10 min: Guehi gets the ball wide to Reece James, who plays it back inside. Elliot Anderson pings it to the feet of Kane, who is unable to sort his size nines out and control the ball. It ends up at the feet of Andorra goalkeeper Iker Alvarez.
8 min: Myles Lewis-Skelly, who is starting a match for the first time this season if I’m not mistaken, sends a splendid outswinging cross towards the far post. Moises San Nicolas clears it with his head before Harry Kane can pounce.
6 min: Andorra full-back Pau Babot has his name taken after dragging Noni Madueke to the ground as the England winger tried to give him the slip.
5 min: Reece James tries to pick out Eberech Eze with a ball over the top from deep but Ian Oliveira leaps to head the ball away from the Crystal Pala … Arsenal and England attacker.
4 min: Dan “Big Dan Burn” Burn is seeing a lot of the ball in these early stages as England try to build patiently from the back against Andorra’s low block.
2 min: Marcus Rashford nutmegs Biel Borra Font down by the bylineand then goes to ground in the Andorra penalty area as another defender tries to block his passage. The crowd appeal for a penalty but he wasn’t fouled.
England v Andorra is go …
1 min: Andorra get the ball rolling and play it straight back to their goalkeeper Iker Alvarez, who boots it forward as far as he can. England take up possession.
Not long now: Soundtracked by loud pyrotechnics, Harry Kane and Marc Vales lead their sides out on to the Villa Park pitch and line up either side of referee Mohammad Al-Emara and his assistants ahead of the national anthems. Kick-off is just a few minutes away.
Marc Vales: The Andorra captain is making his 101st appearance for his country and today will be the sixth time he has faced England. “It’s going to be a tough game in front of your supporters,” he tells ITV’s Gabriel Clarke. “It’s going to be an amazing atmosphere today but we have to forget about these things and make the game harder for England. Put everything in, play with our hearts and be proud of our work.
Asked to compare Tuchel’s England to previous incarnations he has faced over the years, Vales has this to say: “Maybe looking at the squad you can thihnk these are a lower team or not as good quality on the pitch, but still the difference is so big we have to play hard and do our best because if not it could be a hard for us today.”
On people who say games like this shouldn’t happen because the gulf in class is too big: “That is why we are here now, because we want to change that mindset. We are playing hard, we are doing our best and you could see in the last game that at the end, it was a 1-0 for England but it was not easy for them. We are fighting not only for us but for our people and that is why we are here.”
England: England’s head coach has stepped back from tactical tinkering, as a smaller squad prioritises intensity against Andorra, writes David Hytner.
Today’s match officials
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Referee: Mohammad Al-Emara
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Referee’s assistants: Turkka Vajakka and Mika Lamppu
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Fourth official: Peiman Simani
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VAR: Bram Van Driessche
England v Andorra line-ups
England: Pickford, James, Guehi, Burn, Lewis-Skelly, Anderson, Rice, Eze, Rashford, Madueke, Kane.
Subs: Trafford, D Henderson, Spence, Konsa, Livramento, J Henderson, Loftus-Cheek, Gordon, Rogers, Gibbs-White, Watkins, Bowen.
Andorra: Alvarez, Vales, Llovera, Garcia, R Fernandez, Babot, Rodrigo, San Nicolas, Cervos, Olivera, Borra.
Subs: Pires, Ruiz, Da Cunha, Rebes, De las Heras, Vales, Lopez, Alexandre Martinez, Rubio, Buillen, Da Silva, M Garcia
Elsewhere in Group K: Dusan Vlahovic scored the only goal of the game as Serbia beat Latvia in Riga earlier today. The Serbs go second in the group, two points behind England, who they host on Tuesday night. The gap will almost certainly have extended to five points by then, of course.
Elliot Anderson starts for England …
The 22-year-old Nottingham Forest player will make his senior international debut alongside Declan Rice in England’s midfield. They have a little in common, as Rice previously played three in three internationals for the Republic of Ireland before switching his allegiances to the Three Lions, while Anderson accepted an invitation from Steve Clarke to join a senior Scotland squad before thinking better of it, dropping out and deciding that his is an English heart.
Other vaguely eye-catching inclusions: Anderson’s former Newcastle teammate Dan Burn starts in the heart of England’s defence alongside Marc Guehi, Myles Lewis-Skelly gets the nod at left-back and Ebereche Eze has been been selected for the No10 role.
Early England team news: John Stones left the squad yesterday with a muscle injury but the 24 players he left behind are all fighting fit. So much so, that Jarell Quansah was left out of the matchday squad this morning because Thomas Tuchel can only name a 23-man squad for this match. The central defender, who joined Bayer Leverkusen from Liverpool this summer, has now received call-ups to three different England squads under two different managers but has yet to make his senior debut.
Tuchel announced yesterday that Harry Kane will definitely be starting up front for England tonight and is expected to field an extremely strong side, albeit in the absence through injury of Jude Bellingham, Cole Palmer, Levi Colwill, Adam Wharton and Bukayo Saka. Elliot Anderson and Djed Spence received their first senior England call-ups from Tuchel and one or both players could make their international debuts tonight.
Group K: England v Andorra
With Wembley set to be stuffed to the gunnels with Coldplay fans this evening, Villa Park has the honour of throwing open its doors for an England international for the first time in 24 years. While only time will tell which of the two capacity crowds will be subjected to the more insipid and cloying performance, anything less than emphatic victory for Thomas Tuchel’s side over what is ostensibly a ski resort will result in much over-the-top wailing, gnashing of teeth and hysterical handwringing ahead of England’s second game of the current window in Belgrade on Tuesday.
Top of Group K with a 100 per cent record that is almost certain to be maintained tonight, England’s automatic qualification for the World Cup is as near to a foregone conclusion as it is possible to be. However, in the absence of any kind of realistic jeopardy it is imperative that some must be confected, so we can expect no end of largely inconsequential but portentuous discourse about squad and team selections, tactical formations and the audacity of some German geezer “coming over ‘ere” and taking an English manager’s job even if the hosts run out easy winners this evening.
It is, of course, worth remembering that England only beat tonight’s famously – insert side-eye emoji here – hard-to-break-down opponents 1-0 in the corresponding fixture in the first match of a June international window to forget for Thomas Tuchel and his side. While Andorra’s borderline heroic obduracy is to be commended, one suspects they will do extremely well to keep the score that low tonight. Kick-off is at 5pm (BST) but we’ll have team news and build-up in the meantime.
